Meg Wheatley -- Perseverance

Meg Wheatley

Presentation on Perseverance

October, 2011

Meg began her presentation with gratitude -- gratitude for the opportunities we have to come to events like this, to be inspired, to talk about what matters in this world.  She began with a question – so how do we use the gifts we have?

She went through a description of this time in our world, an era of doing more with less, less money, less time; a time of increasing conflict and polarization, fractures of nations and systems; a time of increased fear and anxiety, of blame, denial and avoidance.  These ways of being are very isolating.  Can we not think together? Wheatley asked.  When we’re tied up in all of the above behaviours and emotions, we become de-energized.  It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how quickly you can blame someone else! 

Though this is a dire mess that our world is in, it is not the end of it.  Wheatley spoke about it being a time for critical connections among the few – we don’t need critical mass!  In other words, stop waiting for “the revolution” but do what you can with what you have and where you are!

“A craving for a simpler, slower, more centered life, one less consumed by the soul-emptying crush of getting and spending, runs deep within our culture right now.”   Warner

We must be conscious.  We must take responsibility for our own time.  We can respond or evade.  See the truth and act.  Do more than mere slogan and gesture.  She quoted Thomas Merton, Julia Shorr and Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.

It’s a time for educating and acting upon “the heart.”  In Buddhist thinking the heart and mind are one notion, not split, found in our very centre.  She remarked on an experiment done with a group of monks who were long-time meditators, the experiment to see how the mind is altered by meditation.  The monks all burst out laughing when the scientists hooked up the wires to their heads.  When asked why they were laughing, they replied that the mind was not located in the head, but in the heart.

Who do you choose to be for this time? This was one of her guiding questions.  What role or position will you take to contain your whole life, even your future?  It must be a role big enough to summon your courage, maybe even big enough to scare you.  For herself, she says her role is “spiritual warrior.” She is a warrior of the heart, one who is brave without aggression, brave enough to refrain from adding to the fear and aggression of the time.  She said we should pause and monitor our own actions.

We should be, as Chogyam Trungpa puts it:

“We are not interested in happiness – we are interested in sanity.  Someone has to plant the seed so that sanity can blossom in this world.”  We don’t have to wait.  We can do it now.

Quoting Howard Zinn, she says, “We don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents (present moments), and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvellous victory.”

Wheatley introduced the notions around her latest book, “Perseverance.”  We have what we need; look deeply for our inner wisdom, persevere.  The cover of her book depicts a cardboard box made into a piece of art, using tissue paper for the figure’s clothing and nothing but a charcoal pencil to draw.  The cover, itself, uses the philosophy that she’s talking about.  To use what we have – it’s enough.  She went on to say that her book was based on a Prophecy of the Hopi Nations Elders, something that touched her deeply:

Hopi Elders Prophesy

To my fellow swimmers:
Here is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift,
that there are those who will be afraid,
who will try to hold on to the shore,
    They are being torn apart and will suffer greatly.
Know that the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore,
push off into the middle of the river,
and keep our heads above water.
 

And I say see who is there with you and celebrate.
 At this time in history we are to take nothing personally,
least of all ourselves, for the moment we do,
our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over.
Gather yourselves.
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
For we are the ones we have been waiting for.

It takes daring to “let go of the shore” but we can notice “who is there with you” and move forward in celebration.  She spoke of Pema Chodron – yes, the world is shook up, but what are you going to do?  You can live life as an experiment or you can cling, fixedly, to the fundamentalist attitudes which hold us back.  People who persevere learn how to deal with criticism, anger, failure, anxiety and stress.  We cannot persevere without learning to do so.

How meaningful does your life feel?                                                                                                      What is the quality of your relationships?                                                                                                
Are you more critical now than before?  Are others of you?                                                                  
How easily do you become triggered?                                                                                              
What’s your level of stress?

Nowadays, criticism has become almost random.  We make snap judgments and decisions.  Thumbs up, thumbs down – like the ancient Roman emperors deciding who should be thrown to the lions.  As the Buddha says, “This has been going on through the ages – know and trust yourself.  Let what doesn’t matter go.”

How do you react when something goes wrong?  If you screwed up, celebrate the fact that you noticed you screwed up!  Don’t get into self-hatred!  Don’t take every little thing so seriously!  We need to show loving-kindness to ourselves, just as you would show to a friend.  “I know you’re trying really hard.”

“Success is not a reward.  Pain is not a punishment.  They are simply normal parts of life.  They come and go, like everything else.”   Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Are we going to “hang on to the shore?” And suffer?  Or recognize what is and let it move through us?

She gave another example of looking at how we handle aggression in our lives.  What’s your response? 

“Aggression is never solved with aggression,” says the Dalai Lama.  “Aggression is only solved with peace.”

Are you strengthening yourself for the journey yet to come?  If things aren’t going to turn soon, can you keep going at this same pace, with this same stress, taking on more and more?  No!  Say no to more and more.  But say yes to what nourishes, so that you can be strong for the future.  Your health must be attended to.  Just like the airplane warnings to put on your own face mask first before attending to others – this is what we must do in our lives to prepare.

How often do you know peace?  Find it in your own way – run, walk, music, art, pottery, knitting, riding, writing, meditation?

Meg ended with repeating the end of the Hopi prophecy:

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
For we are the ones we have been waiting for.

(See my Quotes page for all quotes used by Meg Wheatley)

The Compassion Room

An event co-ordinated by the Dalai Lama Centre and Frog Hollow Neighbourhood House
Saturday, October 22, 2011.


 As part of my volunteer work with the Dalai Lama Centre, I was sent to "cover" the Compassion Room events.  This was my report:

As I entered the Compassion Room, the air was abuzz, staff in compassion wings scurrying to finish the set-up, volunteers arriving to man their stations, fresh coffee brewing, all in readiness for the community to arrive.  Bare gym walls, now beautified with gorgeous hanging sari cloths in reds, greens and golds, intimate tables with tea lights, and bulletin boards overflowing with compassionate sayings, set the inviting tone of the day.  Right away I recognized that incredible cooperation and preparation that had to have taken place well before this day.  Frog Hollow staff, Lea and Diane, Lynn and Maria from the Dalai Lama Centre, and so many other committed volunteers and community members together created the seamless setting and flow of the day.

As the hours passed, the draped walls became ornamented with cards from the heart, appreciations, and wishes for the community.  A huge Dream Wall was built, illustrating the insightful themes developed by the community earlier in the project:

Sacrifice and Courage                                                             

Self-Compassion

Mentorship, Role Modeling and Leadership                            

 Belonging       

Two-Way Giving and Receiving, Mutuality                               

Opening to the Unexpected

Communication                                                                       

Action

People placed coloured dots on the six most important theme posters, the upcoming Dream event to make use of the most popular ones in envisioning future community plans.  Strolling about the Compassion Room, I saw the sounds and tastes of these themes already in action.

Meigan, an art therapy student, was encouraging the Dream Wall drawings.  Meigan sees art as a window of connection and fun through which creative exploration can bring together differing perspectives leading to new discoveries.

At the Filming Station I met Jacqueline, a volunteer from the aboriginal community, with a background in dialogue, trust-building, co-op radio, and tai chi instruction at Frog Hollow.  She invited participants to video-record their stories of giving or receiving compassion.

Jacinda, in charge of the Soul Sister station, showed all who gathered there how to make the tiny dolls that she had learned to make with her mom years before.  Having no sisters, but great friendships with other girls, the Soul Sisters symbolized her strong connection to women in community.  Jacinda introduced the people around her table to each other, helping Alberta and her mom choose the colours for their doll.

At the push-pin board, hundreds of definitions of compassion were on display.  These had been brainstormed by the community and used to help determine the themes of the program.  Slips of paper, large and small, with written, printed and typed definitions were posted, with a call to add translations in the many languages and voices of the community.

At the video station, two tv screens with earphones were available for watching and hearing those who had already taped their stories of compassion.  Members of the neighbourhood, some now volunteers in today’s event, spoke of those who modelled compassion to them or those to whom they offered compassion. Jagjit, a woman from India, spoke of her family members and the help and support they provided to her, setting an inspiring example.  I could see that whoever had filmed these storytellers had made them feel comfortable and confident enough to see their stories as important to share.

At the tea and talk table, tea and cookies provided a homey atmosphere for conversation and sharing!  Tessa and Anna spoke with those stopping to rest, inviting memories of being touched by compassion, co-operation, and confidence. 

Mid-room, a large screen was set up, Maria, from the Dalai Lama Centre showing ongoing slides of previous events in the project.  Most recent was the Frogs in the Park day.  The slides, as a visual way to look back and remember, gave the community pride in its efforts and achievements.

The Wishing Well, beautifully decorated, was also placed near the centre of the room, the donations to be sent to Children’s Hospital.  The Girl Guides helped with this station, serving as compassion ambassadors.

A table with lined paper encouraged people to write their compassion stories.  For many young children, the volunteer at the table, Katherine, scribed their oral responses. She asked questions at their own level to draw out their stories.  “Do you like to play with your brother?  Can you tell me about a time he helped you?”  One mom wrote that her 3-year-old told her that he saw her thank and hug someone for doing a good deed.  She realized that her boy was watching her every move, filling her with a sense of immense responsibility and a desire to show him more positive behaviours. 

Colourful picture postcards, designed in the community, were at another station where children and adults could send them to those who had touched them with compassion.  Similarly, thank-you letters and hearts of appreciation were decorated and written on, and then hung by clothes pegs onto the wall coverings. 

Yet another table had people creating compassion buttons to wear.  I saw old and young people from many cultures, drawn to this table, voicing in many languages what words or pictures they were going to put on their buttons.  Glittery pens, paper circles and a button-making machine were at the ready.  I saw buttons with butterflies, rainbows, birds and flowers, and one with concentric circles of compassion rippling out from the centre.

Grandmothers in the community created the Wishing Tree, where people recorded their wishes for the community.  One volunteer, Marion, remarked on the popularity of the Compassion Room and this entire project.  “People working to create a more compassionate community are now becoming mainstream,” she said, “no longer seen as oddities in the community.”

Compassion passports, stamped at each station, were deposited to enter the draw for a prize basket from Sweet Obsessions.  Each of the first 100 families who came to the Compassion Room received from Amy a very tasty Hallowe’en treat bag, filled not only with candies but also compassion quotes contributed by families in the community.

Part way through the morning, a community choir gathered and burst into song.  Patti, the choir’s conductor, kept time with her feet, as did many of the children and adults singing along a capella. They started with Song to the Forest by the Baka people of Africa.   During the afternoon, a VSO violinist filled the gym with the vibration of classical strings.

“What can people and communities do to encourage compassion, co-operation, and confidence in children?”  This question reverberated through the day.  Conducting an event like this was certainly a very effective way to fulfil these aims.  People came and went all day, steady streams of community members having a great time in a very purposeful way.  Some arrived as part of the larger Pumpkin Patch event, curiously stepping into the Compassion Room to see what was happening.  “My wife is the school letter carrier,” said one man.  “Oh, I live in this community,” said another.  “My friend brought me,” said another.  Families were there whose children go to the school.  Baby strollers and carriages, aunties and cousins were there.  People saw flyers in the community, at Frog Hollow or at the school.  Robin, working in Frog Hollow’s kitchen today, was intently reading the wishes and appreciations posted on the Compassion Room walls.  The Stilt walker, taking part in the outdoor event, came in because her mom is part of the family program.  What stood out for me was the strong sense of connection in this community.  Everyone, no matter the wide diversity, came because of that connection; they knew someone involved, they were a volunteer, they lived or worked nearby, or they attended programs at Frog Hollow Neighborhood House.

By the end of the day, the empty Dream Wall was full with words and drawings – “Bee” the change, someone had written alongside their bumble bee drawing.  “Speak it, live it, demonstrate it,” said another contribution.

When it comes to educating the heart, I was very impressed with the skills of the volunteers, their ability to call in participants to their stations, strike up conversations, and help people feel comfortable.  They, too, came from various backgrounds, bringing with them their own expertise that was honoured here, often matching so well with the station they were working at.  They exhibited and embodied the confidence, cooperation and compassion that they are trying to encourage in the children of their own community, modelling it, leading the way.  Many stations today connected the arts, the written word and oral communication to compassion and social responsibility.  Listening skills were very evident, particularly at the various storytelling stations. There was a noticeable involvement with photographic, videographic, and sound media, and a strong connection to music.  What the kids created or wrote was put on display and valued, to be kept and used for future endeavours.  The themes of the program as developed by the community were not only displayed prominently, a constant reminder of why we were there, but seen, heard and enacted everywhere I turned.  One child’s hanging note summed up the day so aptly:  

 “This communty is goood because pepole or nice.” Yes, they are!