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Spirit Rock retreat offered by Anna Douglas, James Baraz and Eugene Cash
May 13 – 19, 2013
A summary by Ada Glustein
How fortunate I was to be able to attend this retreat at Spirit Rock, California. For a week we "sat" in a beautiful rotunda, the outdoors surrounded by trees, wildlife, sunshine and fresh air. The food was all vegetarian and very high quality. Each of the participants in the retreat was over 55 years of age and shared in an assigned task during the week so that we all had opportunities to give and to receive. Below, I've summarized the content of the retreat, and the many learnings that I have taken from the teachers and fellow practitioners.
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“People are working longer.”
“People are living longer.” “Practising
mindfulness meditation together is reducing the aging of our genes, cells,
brain, and cognitive capacity, a huge impact on human consciousness.”
In light of current research on aging, our years beyond the
stress and responsibility of a work life give us time to devote to our
spiritual life. We can look within and
reflect, using the Dharma teachings as our road map. While useful at any age, the Dharma can give
us insight into the challenges we face and the questions we ask as we explore
the meaning and purpose of our lives.
As we take refuge in the Buddha, we are asked to acknowledge
that we have wisdom ourselves; honour that potential and availability. Taking refuge in the Dharma, we can explore
the truth of how things are, without judgment or fixing, trusting that life
gives us just what we need at every stage; show up fully, see things as they
are. Taking refuge in the Sangha, the
community of all those with whom we practise and all those who have gone
before, provides us with great company and support for this time of opportunity
in our lives; receive and contribute with others.
Emphasized throughout the retreat was awareness of our own
experience. Our culture is obsessed with products for anti-aging and remaining youthful; condemns and excludes us
for being “over the hill,” no longer relevant
or mentally incompetent. If we keep a
beginner’s mind, open to what comes, we remain vital, alive. Possibilities still abound. If we accept the prevalent cultural
definitions, there is little freedom, and if we define ourselves, even as
experts, seeing all, knowing all, we also close off opportunity and
possibility.
In exploring our own experience and reality, we took an
investigative approach. The teachers led
us in some contemplative inquiry both silently alone and in groups of two or
three. We examined such questions as:
- What are you aware of at this time of your life? Right here, right now? Your experience of thoughts, worries, fears, body sensations, the sights, sounds, tastes and emotional states of aging?
- What do you know about practice and waking up? What do you not know?
- Who would you be without your story?
Through group interviews and individual interviews with the
teachers, through our inquiries and investigations and through the Dharma talks
given daily, we came to better understand and gained insight into our many and
varied experiences of aging:
Seeing the
impermanence of all things – (anicca)
-- learning to love ourselves in this uncharted and changing territory of the
aging body and in our changing identities.
Are we kind and appreciative of these changes? Can we see beauty in the weathering? Are we stuck?
Haven’t we learned anything? Do
we have fixed expectations of wisdom? Who am I now? Do I think less of myself for having to walk
slower? Or “sit” on a chair? Do I still identify as “the smart one in the
family,” or “the mediator” or “the clown” or “the baby”? We need to see the power of our authenticity
and vulnerability, the losses and the letting go of those identities which have
defined us in the past. Can we open up in
kindness to the flaws and beauty of the goodness that is the essence of who we
are? Even in death, the body continues to change. Impermanence, though leading to uncertainty,
also means possibility and opportunity.
Death follows naturally on aging and illness in our later lives. This is how things are, universally. To open to this truth is to open to
liberation – Anicca vata sankhara.
Seeing the truth of suffering
– (dukkha) – to recognize our pursuit of the pleasant and pleasureful, our
clinging to how we think things should be – to know that all things “arise and
they pass away” – Are we stuck in an endless cycle of searching for the
fountain of youth? Strangely, “absence
of pleasure is a pain to the young, while absence of pain is a pleasure to the
old!” Do we remain obsessed by desire
all our lives? When is enough
enough? Can we let go of our treasures,
diplomas, gifts, papers, beauty, cognitive ability, memory? Perhaps all we need to keep is a wholesome
way of being in the world. Taking care of
the aging body in the West is remembering to take our pills – but the
heart/mind is more important to care for.
Ram Dass says, “Aging is suffering when you haven’t made friends with
change.”
Learning not to take
what is not self to be self – (anatta) – We construct our “selves” into
fixed identities, solid beings, but these constructions may not be true. Who are you right now? What beliefs do you hold as truths of
yourself as you age? “I’m done.” “It’s over.”
“I’ll never be worth anything now that I am old.” “You can’t expect me
to change at this stage of the game.”
These are stories. Just as we
constructed such stories of ourselves in the past: “I am young, energetic, have prowess and
skill.” We thought it would last
forever. When is the moment of
death? Does our self end with the last
breath? With the last heartbeat? When
the brain stops functioning? Or when my
name is spoken for the last time on earth?
The “story of me” will one day disappear into the vast silence. How do we relate to that silence? The self remains a mystery, with no location,
no neurological evidence. The search for
self results in “not finding” and “not finding” is the “finding”. We may be
only processes – no thinker, no teller, no taster. Identity is a view, a description, a
conclusion. Can we release the burden of
all those words? How does it feel to do
that?
The retreat ended with the beginning of a fresher view on
aging and death. Birth-and-Death are
forever connected. We experience them
with each breath we take. They are part
of practice. The Maranassati Sutta, mindfulness of death, tells us to pay
attention to the reality of birthing and dying, in ourselves and in
others. We misunderstand that our form
will last forever, but we do know that everybody dies. “Of all the mindfulness practices,” we are
told, “mindfulness of death is supreme.” “Use our lives to prepare for
death.” Death is a mirror to give
meaning to life.
With understanding, we
can choose to live a life of virtue, contemplative understanding and wisdom as
we move more and more into harmony with the way things are. Coming face-to-face with death, we can see
our impermanence. It doesn’t really
matter if we hang the picture, or get the latest iPhone, or worry ourselves
sick over what to make for dinner. What
matters is our moment-to-moment awareness, the recognition of our
momentariness, the arising and the passing of it, and the living reality of now
– the only moment of life. Death is inevitable.
We are uncertain of when. The
Dharma can help us to handle this time of life skilfully.
The Sage
From the Sage’s Tao de Ching by William Martin
The sage does not retire from life.
The sage retires from unhappiness.
Images of silver-haired couples,
strolling on golf courses and basking on resort beaches,
distort the idea of retirement.
strolling on golf courses and basking on resort beaches,
distort the idea of retirement.
Retirement is about doing what we
should always have been doing:
Living freely and happily with joy
and compassion for all.
You do not need to add to your IRA
(RRSP) for another five years
in
order to retire.
Retire now!
Retire from worry.
Retire from the pursuit of
possessions.
Retire from complaining.
Retire from the strain of seeking
security.
Retire from unhappiness.
Enjoy the moments given you.
Love the people around you.
Live the life offered you.
